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Tips to Have a Great First Date
First dates aren't as easy as they seem and there are plenty of reasons to feel nervous ahead of going out with someone new for the first time. There has been ample research into the science of the elusive ‘perfect first date’ and researchers have amassed some useful advice to ensure a seamless night and stellar first impression.
Positive body language is a key to any successful first date and can say as much as any words. The better you are able to communicate, the more you will engage the other person and help the two of you to click. Animated and proactive gestures are a great way of showing interest and communicating to your date that you’re having a good time. Similarly, reserved body language can exacerbate any awkwardness. Try not to close yourself off and give physical indications of any nerves. Whilst this may seem hard, if you’re aware of it, you can try to avoid it until a confident posture feels more natural
Social psychologist Amy Cuddy is a big advocate of self-assured body language, explaining how it can reassure us and be a major component of a successful first date. Another key to a comfortable first time out begins before the night has even been arranged. Choose a partner whom you have a genuine interest in to avoid any desultory outings that aren’t enjoyable for either party and leave you wishing you hadn’t bothered. The perfect first date should captivate and intrigue you. There should be no shortage of questions you’d like to ask and aspects of their character about which you’d love to learn more.
Give frequent indications that you are engaged by the person opposite you and are taking in what they are saying. Leaning close during an interesting monologue and frequent eye contact are great ways to do this. Despite all the tips listed above, every first date will be full of its own challenges and the occasional awkward silence. Truth is, if you truly like each other, one bad date isn’t going to jeopardize a future relationship. If it doesn’t work out, being single isn’t so bad either.
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The Heartbreaking Story of True Love
Love is a tricky, abstract concept to define. There are no rules to it. Being in love is like the most twisting and turning rollercoaster you’ve ever been on as it throws you in so many different directions at the same time. What’s certain about love is that feeling in the chest that you simply can’t be without that person. You want to spend every moment you can with them. That’s just how Fred Gilland feels about his wife Janice - even though she died in 2010.
Fred visited his wife’s grave in Tennessee every single day between her burial and 2017. He has said quite simply that he loved her from the first moment he saw her and that there is nothing else he would rather do until the time comes when he is buried in the same plot.
He said he’s doing this because of a promise he made to Janice - which is, at heart, what love is all about. It’s about making those vows to honor your spouse and then doing just that. Fred’s determination to spend all the time he can with Janice is his representation of his marriage vows made flesh. Since meeting when Fred was 17-years-old, they barely spent a night apart. Now thanks to Fred’s devotion, they continue to be together in such an inspiring tale of how there is truly one person for each of us out there somewhere.
True love may not yet have appeared in our lives. Our parents perhaps divorced or were never really together in the first place, or we may have gone through the pain of divorce too. But Fred’s story should act as a fairy tale for all of us. It shows us that love exists and that no matter how hard you might have to work at it, the rewards for the hard times which we all go through are incredible. Fred Gillibrand and your unstinting love for your wife and best friend Janice, we salute you with all our admiration.
